The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Someone came in the potted fern
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
