you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
