New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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