I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
