grandma shit on top of the toilet
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
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