you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
