Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
