she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
