Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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