I will die if light touches me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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