How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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