You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
