is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize