Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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