guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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