We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
