Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He shit in the fireplace
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
