i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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