we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
