Only a mothe r could love this liver
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
