doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
