You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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