We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize