its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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