you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
