ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
