Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
