I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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