you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
