11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
