I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
