I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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