Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
