dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You are the jesus of drinking
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
