I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
