Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
