I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
