I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
