You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am naked and annoyed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
