Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How external is "for external use only"?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
