Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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