I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
