take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
birth control should be required to get into college
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
