I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize