so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
