I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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