we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
