Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We were destined to go to rehab together
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
