I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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