I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
