I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
