i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
