Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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