Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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