IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
