I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
