We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
