No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize