I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
