Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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